3 secrets to putting yourself out there

The reasons you should put yourself out into the world are infinite—the ways to do it efficiently and effectively come down to three main ways. First, I’d like to say these are three secrets, but if you’ve followed me on Social or interacted with me as a coach in any form, these are not secrets.  Before diving in, I also want to make sure you understand what I mean by ‘put yourself out there.  Self-promotion can bring up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.  I’m not talking about exhibitionism.  I want you to be able to gift the world with your ideas, plans, businesses, books, art, etc., that you are holding back and not allowing to see the light of day.   

So the fundamental ways to effectively put yourself out into the world are self-trust, self-image, and self-confidence. I'm going to be talking about each of these related to promoting yourself & ideas and why you need to focus on building your trust, again, upgrading your self-image, and creating self-confidence. Because even if you believe you have one or all of these in some capacity, we will discuss them in the aspect of up-leveling.  If you are missing these three core pieces, you will not be able to get out of your way entirely.

If your self-trust is lagging, here are some ways it may be showing up. You’re not following through with plans, aren’t being decisive.  You’re not allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling. You’re holding yourself accountable through criticism but calling it tough love. 

Another way to tell your self-trust could benefit from leveling up is if you aren’t giving yourself credit.  It’s very likely, given the ambitious high, achieving woman that you are, that you’re experiencing some sort of success.  But are you completely dismissing it as not good enough? Do you tell yourself this because you’ve set some kind of benchmark of X amount of dollars or Z promotion?   If we are achieving but not giving ourselves credit because we didn’t work as hard as we could have or completed as fast as your original deadline, you’re eroding your self-trust. 

Trying the first time is hard enough.  Trying repeatedly and again with a constantly moving goal post and nagging criticism makes it very hard for our brains to feel safe to try new things.  Without strong self-trust as a foundation, it contributes to your holding back.  You need to be able to trust yourself.  You have something to give this world; consider working on a few of these ideas so that you don’t hold back any longer.

The second area of focus for putting yourself out into the world is self-image.  Your self-image is the end of these two statements. 1. I’m the type of person who… 2. I’m not the type of person who…You might be familiar with the idea that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings lead to your actions, and your actions create your results. But even when we are doing that work to change our thoughts, if we believe that we are a certain kind of person, that will override any cognitive work we’ve done.  Because if you think that you're the kind of person who can have a successful business, that you're not the kind of person who is resilient, or that you’re not the kind of person who can have healthy relationships…then it will continue to inform your thoughts. 

Once you realize that self-image is the story you tell yourself, you can begin to feel ready to put yourself out into the world.  If you believe you can be the type of person who tries new things, for example, then you may purchase the kayak and join the local kayaking club.  If you believe you are the type of entrepreneur, then it’s easier to start the business you’ve been dreaming about for years. However, if you are not doing intentional work on your self-image and you begin creating success, your brain will stop you from continuing to make that success because that success is out of alignment with who you believe you are.  

Begin by completing the two self-image statements above to have a clear understanding of what you currently believe.  Then try out a few new self-image statements. For example, I'm the kind of person who puts myself out there, even though I'm scared of what people think.  Now, this might feel inauthentic but what is genuinely fake is the limiting self-image that is holding you back.  I know that it’s inauthentic because you have the idea and the desire.   So practice creating your statement, “I am the kind of person who put myself out there, even though ___.”

Self-confidence is vital for putting yourself out into the world. You may have been using self-image and self-confidence interchangeably without realizing it. Self-confidence is an attitude towards your abilities. Self-image who you believe yourself to be. So if you trust yourself and have a positive attitude that you’re capable of, you have an unbelievable solid foundation for putting yourself out there.

Having an attitude of self-confidence gives you a sense of control in your life.  If you know, you can complete tasks, learn skills, and integrate information, and then you feel good about what you have to offer.  Self-confidence can be focused on in specific areas of your life. For example, you may have a lot of self-confidence in your technical skills at work but lower self-confidence in your skills in handling conflict.  And it’s a trio of skills that bring the best success.

How can you uplevel your life? What is it you want to put out into the world? It’s time. The world needs what you have to offer.