3 reasons you need to confidently make decisions in 2022

I read a shocking statistic recently.  Gallup polls show that 48% of US employees are actively looking for a new job because they feel discontent.  This polling shows that the ‘Great Resignation’ is really the ‘Great Discontent’.

You might be feeling this discontent too but are paralyzed by the difficulty in making a decision due to overwhelm.   

Over the past 20 months, so much of our lives was stripped away so your work became a central focus.  Especially during months of lockdown, the only humans outside of your own family most had contact with were colleagues via Zoom and Slack.  Without the distraction and entertainment of personal life, the shortcomings of your work-life became glaringly obvious.   It became clear that the discontent many felt about their jobs was intense, so intense they needed to leave.  

Now just because you are high achieving and successful in your work, does not mean you too might be experiencing discontent.  However, what is different for you due to your loyalty and commitment to being responsible above and beyond is that leaving, especially now when everyone else is too, feels like a decision too large to make.  In fact, you’ve often even referred to yourself as a bad decision maker due to how many times you get stuck in the limbo of pro and con lists.   The pattern of compromising yourself shows up in your loyalty and the guilty feeling that if you leave too, no one will be left to do the work.  It feels like all you’ve given to your job would be a waste to leave without a perfect succession plan.

This blog isn’t here to convince you to leave your job.  I do however want to help you see why firming up your confidence in your decision-making is important.  Especially, right now when there is an overall upheaval within places of employment.   I don’t want to see you last person standing, and standing in discontent, because you feel you are bad at decision making. 

Here are the big reasons, I want you to begin to change your relationship with decisions.

3 Reasons:

1. The world needs what you have to offer.  You’re a high-achieving intelligent employee.  Staying in discontent dims your light. 
2. Your perfectionistic brain gets stuck on making the “right” decision, the perfect decision.  In the meantime, your discontent grows. 
3. You deserve to have a life filled with joy. 

The world needs what you have to offer.  You need to say this and say it loudly. You are unique and amazing and bring so much to this world.  If you stay when you feel discontent, over time your light dims.  You don’t lose the amazing things you have to offer but it’s easy to become a shell of your former self if living in discontent for too long.  In fact, you can begin to forget what it was you had to offer in the first place because it gets buried.   So focus on the unique strengths you have to give.  And if it’s hard for you to think of these on your own, survey your loved ones with a quick question, “what do you see as my best strengths?”.    And then BELIEVE them. 

The desire to make the “right” decision is an admirable one.  The idea that there is a right and a wrong path in life on the surface makes life feel easier. If I can just find the right path, with a 50% success chance, then all will be well.  I’m sorry to tell you that it’s not that clear.  Focusing on only one “right” path is binary thinking and it limits you.  It exponentially increases the pressure on yourself and the decision.  The paths you can take in life are infinite.  The only right decision is the one you choose for yourself.   If you stay in the land of indecision for an extended period of time your discontent grows which can lead to an impulsive explosive decision in the long wrong.  The exact thing you were trying to avoid.   Flipping a coin may seem like a silly thing to do, but have you ever felt a sudden surge of emotion when the coin is in the air?  What that tells you is that you did know what choice you wanted to make and that what you have is FEAR, not a decision-making problem.  So give it a try, flip that coin and tune in closely to see what you feel deep in your core.  Remember too, that just because you know what choice you want to make, it doesn’t mean you have to act on that choice immediately.  It provides clarity so you can move out of indecision and into confidence. 

You deserve a joy-filled life.  You may have the status, the title, and the security of employment but do you have joy?   If you can’t remember the last time you truly felt joyful, then discontent definitely has a strong presence in your life.   A joy-filled life doesn’t mean you are skipping down the sidewalk singing sunshiney songs every day.  A joy-filled life means that even in stress, difficulty, and doldrums you experience gratitude and pleasure.   If it is difficult for you to believe you are deserving of this joy, try a 14-day self-compassion challenge where you make a statement of kindness to yourself every day.   This gives your feelings of self-worth a boost.   As your self-worth increases your belief that you deserve joy rises with it.

Decision-making is a muscle that can be strengthened.  Here is a quick win for you that is like doing bicep reps for your brain.   Practice decision-making in a Safe Zone.  The good news is that it’s the exact same skill to make lower-stakes decisions as it is to make high-stakes decisions.   So if you often respond with “I don’t care” or “Anything is fine” when asked what you want to eat for dinner this is the ideal safe zone.    Practice offering a suggestion.   Take a few minutes to jot down in your notes app a few of your favorite go-to meals or restaurants.   So when asked, you can quickly reference your list and make a suggestion.   Although this seems small, it’s powerful to your brain to experience you decisively making a decision.   If this still feels too risky as you and your partner/friends/family have different food tastes, let them know you are doing something new.   Go ahead and tell them that you are doing an experiment and will be offering suggestions more often.  This provides a safety net to reduce the risk even further.    I can’t wait to hear how this goes for you.  Please DM me with how it felt to provide an answer and make a choice rather than staying in the land of indecision.

As you gain confidence (and you WILL!), you can take this skill to another area of life in which you have not been exerting your opinion or decision.  And ultimately, you can reflect on your current employment, and if discontent feels confident in the decision to stay or go.